Friday the 13th

July 13,2012, Friday.

                  Something about this day felt different.  And it’s not the fact that it is Friday the 13^th cause I just realized that now (I’m so slow!) These past few days…hmm… I don’t even remember what happened these past few days. I know I’ve been lazy and useless around the house. My room is still a mess. I have yet to check up on the university I’m transferring to. I would literally sit on the couch for hours and do nothing but breathe and think. I haven’t accomplished anything at all. Basically, the rest of this week was just me being my usual lazy self. With all those free time, I did absolutely nothing.  

            I can’t really explain how I was feeling today. For the most part, it was pretty uneventful. I woke up late around 11am, had brunch (fried bangus), went to work until 6pm, then got home and did the usual (watch TV, internet). All day though, I just had this nagging feeling inside my chest. I did not know why but it was bothering me the whole day. I felt like I need to talk to someone about it but at the same time, I wanted to be alone.

            These past few weeks, I’ve been living like a zombie. I’m physically here in Rancho but my mind was halfway across the world. Yes, it’s creepy, and just wrong. But I was happy! Every time I think about all the good memories I made during my trip, it just puts a smile to my face. When there were problems in the house, I would just shut myself into my own little world and ignore everything else. I was contented like this. But today, my happy place didn’t feel so happy.  It didn’t make me sad neither. What I felt was more of annoyance. Like my mind is telling me, “Seriously! Snap out of it!”  

            So I realized that my hangover had been extended far too long. I need to start doing something productive for myself. No more daydreaming. No more procrastination. 

Starting tomorrow...

CarmyEla